Beans is a Super Smash Bros. Brawl Machinima collaboration of Smashtasm, BrawlGasm, Peach's Slutty Adventure, and Wolf's Retarded Mission. It was created by Shippiddge, Guitarmasterx7, and Dexterboy124.

Smashtasm (Shipp's World)Edit

In the beginning, Super64 is sent into a portal by a Falcon Punch, and Link is thrown into a different portal by one of KingKirb's cousins. The Smashtasm world follows the story of 1337f0x and Brawlgasm's Snake, who doesn't know how he got there and tries to get back to his home. Along the way, they meet Pimpachu, who Snake tries to eat, Lamp, who Snake tries to interrogate for information, and LuZERIO (formerly MewZERO) who has an argument with Snake about honor, falls in love with him and then gets blown up by him. Later, Snake tells 1337f0x he finally made a machine to take him home, to which 1337f0x points out that all he did was throw a bunch of Super Scopes on the other side of the stage. Snake winds up back home at the end, with 1337f0x and Lamp laughing when 1337f0x says he'll miss Snake, then not knowing why. Later at the end, Link returns home and is greeted rudely by the Kirby that threw him into the portal. Before the end credits, Smashtasm Link goes into Skyworld and asks Super64 why he wasn't with him. Super64 asks him where he was and Link and he said he was in Dairantou Gaiden. Unexpectedly, Super64 leaves, angering Link. After the credits, there's a humorous speech made by Cloudy, the voice of Greg (Or maybe appears to be really Greg), saying that the ending sucked and that he left a bad comment on YouTube "to make the guy who made this to be pissed".

Not Exactly Royalty/Wolf's Retarded Mission (Dexter's World)Edit

After a mutiny on Wolf's ship, Smashtasm's Link arrives and is made the ship's new captain. At the same time, this version of Link is at a slumber party with Peach and Marth, who dare him to run around the house six times in the dark, during which he is sucked into a portal. Smashtasm Link later flees from the ship when he learns the group is evil, and winds up with Peach and Marth, who think he's an immigrant. Marth hits Link and he winds up on Fox's ship, mistaking Fox for 1337f0x, and asking him for help. When Fox doesn't know what he's talking about, he thinks he only responds to 1337-speak, and makes up poor random letters, numbers, and signs, confusing them and getting knocked off the ship. Link winds up on Wolf's ship again, where Jigglypuff hits on him, but Link escapes through a plot hole, once again leaving a very upset Jigglypuff. Finally, Wolf returns and is repeatidly glomped by Bowser, and this world's Link winds up outside his house with Peach and Marth. Link tells Peach that he did the dare, but Peach says that he's lying, and tells him what really happened. He asks her how she knew that, and she says that Dexterboy told her. Link then states how he'll miss Blackimar, who he loved like a brother, hate Brawlgasm Link because he's a twat, and doesn't care about Super64 because nobody liked him anyway and is a bit of a loser, so he's a twat too. He then says: "The moral of the story is; I'M F***ING AWESOME!", to which his son says, "Daddy, you're so gay!", causing Link to hit him. At the very end, after the credits, there is a scene where PSA Link is playing tag with his son, and Blackimar suddenly appears. Link is happy he's still alive, but Blackimar doesn't know who he is. Link then describes to Blackimar how he was his best friend, and that he always stood by him. To this, Blackimar replies, "Wait, who?", and spontaneously explodes and is sent flying. Link starts crying over Blackimar again, and once more, Toon Link says, "Daddy, you're so gay!". Link is about to hit his son again when the video ends.

BrawlGasm (GMX7's World)Edit

Brawlgasm's Link is finally about to catch and have sex with Zero Suit Samus when he's suddenly sucked into a portal to another dimension. Meanwhile, Kirby and Snake are talking about a machine Snake made, but he doesn't know what it does. After punching it, Snake is sent into a portal, and the machine talks to Kirby, which causes him to run away. Later, Kirby is walking along when Dexterboy's Wolf falls on him, and Kirby accidentally eats his blaster. This angers Wolf, who is about to kill Kirby, when the Captain Falcon arrives. Kirby runs away, knowing what's coming, and in a parody of the scene from the anime where Captain Falcon dies, Wolf is Falcon Punched (which is actually Raptor Boost). Wolf asks Captian Falcon to help him get back home, but not by Falcon Punching him, and shits himself when Captain Falcon is about to do it again. Later, Captain Falcon and Wolf come across Psycho Mantis, who is looking for Snake. Since Snake's not around, he needs someone to mess with, and starts reading Captain Falcon's mind to find out all of the horrible video games he likes, including Barbie Horse Adventure, and reveals his real name is Winston, which causes Captain Falcon to Falcon Punch Psycho Mantis. Wolf calls Captain Falcon by his real name, which causes him to Falcon Punch Wolf away. Wolf then runs into Meta Knight, who only grunts, then starts jumping around making insane motions and sounds. Later, Wolf runs into the unluckiest character in the universe: Sonic, who asks to be friends, and Wolf unwittingly agrees. After a few seconds, Sonic's running and talking annoys Wolf, until he trips and starts flying to different places, getting hurt each time. Next he meets Little Jimmy, who he brutally attacks, then gets Falcon Punched again and lands right back where he started with Kirby. Wolf is about to kill Kirby when Sonic collides into him and sends him home. Later, Snake and Link arrive back home and Snake proceeds to destroy his machine. Link comments "Well that was an awesome collab", at which point Snake says, "Yeah, but do you get the feeling it's missing something?" Sonic appears again and gets crushed by a giant penis, while Marth arrives and starts shouting "PUERTO RICO!" over and over, at which Link says "Yeah, I think that about covers it". After the credits, Sonic meets Zelda, who claims she has a present for him. Cheerful that something good is finally going to happen to him, he approachs her only to find out that she is actually Wario and that he just wanted to touch his you-know-what.

The Main StoryEdit

The main story takes place in a new dimension that Super64, the Links from BrawlGasm and Peach's Slutty Adventure, and Captain Blackimar are sent to. A voice tells the four of them to fight to the death, which they refuse to do. Then they try to escape through a writer's block, resulting in Blackimar's apparent death. PSA Link starts mourning Blackimar's death, while BrawlGasm Link points out he didn't know Blackimar anyway. Later, the three are asking how they're going to leave, when a demon appears. PSA Link screams to grab him and the demon runs, only to wind up where he started. The Links start interrogating him, discovering he had eggs, bacon, and orange juice for breakfast. Super64 convinces them to ask relevant questions, and they ask how to get to the giant talking voice in the sky. The Demon says, "You see the giant bleeding dick over there? (Super64) Go past it, until you reach the lane of paraphernalia, and keep going through the left side of the screen, until you see a floating black door!" Afterwards, the Links continue to beat the Demon anyway, as BG Link says "I spent 8 years watching the complete box set of 24! I KNOW how to interrogate people". Later, the three are walking through a dungeon, when Super64 asks what they do in their spare time to establish a character development scene. We learn BG Link sets literal booby-traps, while PSA Link sleeps most of the time. Super64 tells how he stops hackers from ruining Smash Bros., but the two leave at the beginning of the speech. When he asks if they were listening, BG Link says "Yeah, it's totally tragic your mom named you after a peanut butter brand." Upset, PSA Link says people used to call him "Mr. Three Nipples", until he cut off his original two nipples. They finally find the voice in the sky, who looks like Ganondorf, but is actually the "Lord of all Things That Have Nipples" and sounds like Dan Green. Captain Blackimar turns out to be alive, but is killed again when The Lord twists his nipples. Super64 and the Links reach him and challenge him to a fight, but he starts to undergo a transformation into a hybrid between a dragon and Chris Crocker. Armed with a powerful nipple beam which causes pain to your nipples, he blasts the three. However, PSA Link (only having one nipple now) barely feels anything and launches an arrow at the creature, reversing its nipple beam on itself. Super64's and BG Link's nipples become infused with firey energy, and they defeat the monster with their final smashes. PSA Link becomes very upset because he wanted to be the one to save the day. After a not-so-heartfelt goodbye, the three go home to their own worlds.


  • Dexterboy124 as PSA Link
  • Guitarmasterx7 as BG Link, Blackimar, Dan Green, Demon
  • Shippiddge as Super64
  • Rina-Chan as Peach (Peach's Slutty Adventure) and Zelda (BrawlGasm)
  • Nick Hawk as PSA Marth
  • ShockDingo as Wolf
  • Morganio as BG Meta Knight and Kirby
  • Blade9932 as Smashtasm Link
  • Matt Vargas as Lamp
  • ShadowFox014 as 1337f0x
  • Cloudy as Himself
  • Whitebladezero as MewZERO/LuZERIO
  • Dexterboy124 as Bowser, Jiggly, Game & Watch, Fox, Falco and PSA Toon Link (Jr.)
  • Guitarmasterx7 as BG Link, Psycho Mantis, Snake, Captain Falcon, Mario, Sonic, Wario, Little Jimmy and BG Marth